September 12, 2012 

Snub #1. One would think if a local community newspaper is good enough for a company’s press releases, we’d be good enough for their advertising dollars as well. Apparently in the case of Google placing ads promoting their new Fiber Internet service, the Northeast News is not worthy. This confident li’l canine can’t even get the courtesy of a call back from the Google collective hive, despite the fact that Google drone worker-bees have come to our offices twice now and requested our staff to (free of charge by the way) help them seek out willing new victims, er, customers for their service. That’s fine and dandy – we’re used to getting played. It’s part of the business.

Snub #2. A promise broken. Google drone worker-bees also baited admin types at Holy Cross Catholic School with an ice cream party if Google drones were allowed to attend Holy Cross School’s back-to-school open house and recruit victim, er, customer households for the new service.  When all was said and done, Google made their numbers (largely thanks to Holy Cross), then promptly snubbed the 250-plus school kids the prize – an ice cream party. Really, Google? A multi-billion dollar international conglomerate with the resources to furnish ice cream for life to the state of Vermont if it wanted to, kicks the local parochial school to the curb after subscriber goal numbers are met? Wow! Two words:  reprehensible and shameful. This news-pooch wonders if Google drones even thought about the extremely difficult position they put administrators in after the fact, having to explain to 250 smudgy-faced, urban-core school kids:  “Oh, sorry, no ice cream party. Google welched on their deal.” Fact: school kids could give two hoots about mega-speed networks and Fiber this ‘n’ that. School kids live for rewards like ice cream parties and recess. Bullies like Google seem to forget that, and now it’s time to pay the piper. This newshound won’t rest, much be silent, until Holy Cross gets the reward they are due. Ice cream for all.

Next week, we’ll compare and contrast the creepy similarities between the classic film “Elmer Gantry” starring Burt Lancaster to Google Fiber’s ability to program neighborhood robot drones to carry their water to the nether regions of the neighborhood…for free.