Not the droids you’re looking for

Northeast News
August 21, 2013

These aren’t the droids you’re looking for…

Move along, nothing to see here, move along, move along. Note to City Councilman, Pastor, extortionist and now porn star wannabe Michael Brooks: That strategy may have worked in Star Wars, but it ain’t working’ here. Copy that?

This fact finding newspooch thinks it’s high time for you, your iPhone and your man-junk to exit City Hall and we’ll give you 15,001 reasons to do so, the final one coming last week when your narcissistic “selfies” got outed for all to see. How many scandals does it take, Mr. Brooks? Really! First there’s $15,000 you stole from the taxpayers of Kansas City so you could allegedly bring a wife-beating, washed up boxer to town for a youth motivation rally. Motivate them to do what? Beat women and organize violent flash mobs? Glad to see at least someone had a good time trotting across the country at taxpayer’s expense. (Ossco Bolton, Ron Hunt, et al.)

Now, if your so called attorney is to be believed, you’re the victim in the latest hot mess in which you sent selfies of your man-junk to some hottie you met on the interwebs. Actions have consequences and it’s time for you to go, Mr. Brooks. Pack your stuff and get out. The taxpayers of this city deserve better than some holier than thou extortionist porn star wannabe who shamefully tries to subvert the truth. You must think the citizens of this city are pretty stupid given you and your minions are trying’ to shovel this horse dung down our throats with a coal scoop. Puhleaze. Leave. Leave now and give us back our $15-large. We’ll be the better for it.  

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